How to Control Parents During Softball Games

I recently read an article that talked about silent games for youth sports.  In other words all spectators are asked to keep completely quiet during the game.How crazy is that?

My first thought was that the idea was completely absurd.  Then I continued reading and found out that youth sports organizations around the country have been using silence as a tool for promoting a more positive atmosphere surrounding games.  They aren’t using it as a long term, permanent solution to obnoxious fans or overbearing parents, but more for sending a message or creating teachable moments on conduct for parents and fans!

Other ideas for curbing undesirable conduct include. The length of time that youth sports organizations ask spectators for silence varies.  Some require an entire weekend, while others ask for an hour or a quarter of the game.

• no-direction cheering: spectators are allowed to cheer, but can’t give directions such as “throw the ball” or “hit it deep.”  Phrases like “great hit” or “way to hustle” are acceptable.
• cheering for both sides: instead of asking parents for silence, encourage them to cheer for great plays on both teams
• assigned seating: separating spectators from people who are actually involved in the game or having parents sit away from the team

What do you think?  Have you ever participated in a silent game before?  Do you think a silent game would even be possible for in your league?  Is this a strategy you would use?  Do you have your own methods for keeping good sportsmanship a priority from the field to the dugout to the stands?

Leave a comment here to share your thoughts on this issue.  Can’t wait to hear from you!

Here are the comments from our readers.

• Coach J

  Nonsense….Expect adults to behave like adults and they usually will. If they can’t behave, tell them to stay home. I don’t coddle my players…or their parents. Be positive and confident as a coach, and most parents will follow your example and respect the game.

• http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OEAQHGMNPFE4NRNBH4DEAADNLM AmyN

  I tell the parents in the very first parent meeting, that I have coached for 30 years. Whatever problem arrises, I don’t need them shouting from the stands.

  Also, do not yell directions at your daughter. They can only hear you and then they can’t hear me and each other.

  Many times problems arise because of a made up rule like “She has to slide!” No, no, she doesn’t. Going over stuff like that helps, too.

• Drklitzke

  Usually, the complaining involves umpiring/officiating and depending on the level
  of competition I think its hard to break certain habits that involve complaining about poor umpiring

• Qwikvr6gti

  I had to tell our parents to shut the hell up. Kids can’t do what they are coached to do when the parents are screaming directions from the stands and confusing them. Let tehm make mistakes! that is how they learn the game. It is unacceptable that the coach would have to wait for the people in th estands to shut up to direct the child. Slowpitch Softball Fields have fences to keep the crazy people out!

• Trdevore

  This is just a gimmick and nonsense. Handling the parents and umpires is a part of coaching. If you have a problem parent that you just can’t come to terms with best to ask the parent and player to play elsewhere. Parents are going to talk to their kids now and then they have a lot of time and money invested – you just make sure it isn’t constant and if it gets out of control you need to address it with the parents. You also need to talk to your players and tell them to block it out – focus – listen to you and your staff and do their jobs. All a part of becoming a better player and preparing for intense High School, Select and College level play down the road.

• Coach Smarty Pants

  this is idiotic… the only way to silence parents and fans is to remove them or have them sit in their car (as has been happening in some communities)

  If a fan want’s to rag on a player that gets tossed out at first after no hustle, he just yells : “NICE HUSTLE!” very positive right derrrr….

  quit avoiding the aholes and call them out.

• Shelcyb

  What kind of world do we live in where parents (like me) can’t go to the ballpark and cheer as loud as we want for our kids!? It’s softball – not tennis or golf. Yes there are some parents that get a little too carried away – but that is a small percentage – why punish the rest of us because of them!? I think it’s a terrible idea.

• coach Phyl

  I would say-if you would use this silence approach- you might worry about being sued!- the first Amendment—~~~Freedom of Speech~~~

• Balamarcos

  I can see what the purpose is but do not totally agree. Parents can get out of hand. I propose to have your league agree to have parent contracts for them to sign to explain what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Along with these contracts you should also outline consequences so everyone is on the same page. I say this only because I still think it is important for the players to hear that encouragment from their parents. Those are good memories.

• coach Kim

  As a travel ball coach, I learned early the need to explain to players and parents the need to respect the game, and that derogatory comments are nothing more than an excuse to lose. NO one is perfect, and stating the obvious ( “that ball was over your head”) does nothing to help a young athlete improve…. On my teams, the kids learn to play to play, that’ why they are there. Who drives to Disney World just to go home?? Winning or losing is something that happens AFTER the game is over…. modelling those behaviors has done wonders in regards to improving sportsmanship.

• Jmac61

  Three words “Keep it positive”. Don’t let a few bozos in the stands keep cheers from a deserving player. You know this whole “silent fan” model came from a youth soccer field, right? Seriously, it did. Adding yet another reason the U.S. has yet to take the World Cup.

  Win with humility and lose with class.

• Hunibee

  instead of asking parents for silence, encourage them to cheer for great plays on both teams that’s what I do and have done for years!!! I think it’s insane to ask for silence, this isn’t tennis or golf!! Parents just need to remember that they are role models of good sportsmanship. I couldn’t possibly take part in a slient game, I’m to loud and LOVE softball way TO much to be quiet about it!!!!

• Bella

  I’ve been playing softball since 4th grade, I’m a freshman now and I honestly don’t like the idea of silent games. The cheering helps me. My friends and family yelling makes me want to play better, to show them what I can do. I also don’t like the cheering for both sides–our side cheers for us, there side cheers for them, that’s how it’s supposed to be.

  I do think parents who are trying to “coach” the game should sit down, be quiet, and watch the game. They truly don’t know how aggravating that is to the players and the coaches. It causes a lot of problems.
  But this is all just my opinion. ~Bella